1977

ConFREDential

This document will attempt to chronicle the events that have occurred for me. I found out that April of 1993 was the time I bought my "State of the art", 386-25, mono-chrome, 3MEG (expandable to 5), 20 megHDD (no option to expand) Notebook Computer from Zeos. All hell broke loose starting then, so I will start there. I will wander quite often, as was the nature of this time. Keep up.

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I realized at this time that I had the ability to make a difference. I took what I had seen (often only in images in my mind), and shaped it into what was to come. I was out of work. I had chosen to quit my long time job at Children's to find my new direction. I remember driving Che' to a meeting one night and looking up at the Farmers Insurance Building on Wilshire, and using it to illustrate the point that all you have to do is look for your success to have it. I said that the buildings lights on the second floor were on so late because they needed help. "They need ME" I said. I got the job that transitioned me from construction to computers. So I knew.. Or maybe I placed that thought there after I knew I had the job (Note: This is the last disclaimer sentence I will place here for the non-believers). Read on if you wish.

Today (12-3-97) was a "DISHRAG DAY". I feel wrung out. Too much input. Too much output. I think I get a little too graphic. I just get caught up in what seems to be the urgency of things. Shaking with the anticipation. Someone famous should have said "It is the vision that comes from wisedom of age that gives us the strength to channel the patience to wait for the blisses that will be part of our tomorrows. (-:". I'll get it together. My dog is begging for my attention..gotta go.

Today is the beginning of 1998. The year of the Mountain Earth-tiger. I am re-learning to type. This is very important for this next phase. I need to move FAST for this phase. I havent been able to keep up with things because of this. I had really planned on dumping all of this on Chesca, but that's what I get for planning on taking the easy way out. I WILL GET IT!
Lucy is happy and healthy, me too. I still haven't ridden the bike, but I will. I am very happy and thankful for all of what has been given me, and I look forward to the opportunity to begin giving back. I am watching TV less, cutting back on my bad habits (1 year no smoking cigarettes), and attempting to socialize more. Every day I try to change some little thing that I do. I am also trying to do my kind of community service more often. It has gotten easier to create change now that I let it happen. I am beginning my learning of REIKI.
This is the year of the "quick or the dead". I intend to be standing at the end of it all. "Work the Web"

January 11, 1998
"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...this is to have succeeded."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

February 1, 1998
"Make a career out of humanity."- Martin Luther King Jr.

What a wonderful world we would build if we brought these words into each of our business lives. And our daily lives.

Feb. 4, 1998 - I know you were wondering which direction this was going. Well, it is going in this direction. Here is my tip for quickly speeding up the Internet. When you notice that it is slow, sign off. Don't sign right back on, wait a couple of minutes. Since this type of action can spread exponentially, you will soon see an increase in the available bandwidth. Like the act of letting ONE car in on the ramp. The idea spreads, and that ramp moves quicker. Try it. Tell a friend.
How is the world ignoring the slaughter of our oceans by man. The mass suicide of the ocean mammels and fishes. The actual termination of the ecosystem (and with it MAN!). Stop killing the oceans. Find faith in mankind and repair the damage before we all die. GREED is NEVER OKAY!!! Care more. Make room for difference in your life. Take care of someone for no reason other than to help them. Practice random acts of kindness.

February 5, 1998

Someone asked once what I would have in my house, if noone else did the shopping and I lived alone:


• Water (for the earthquake) I hardly EVER drink it.
  
• Dr. Pepper in cans
  
• Sharp Chedder cheese
  
• Butter
  
• Oatmeal raisin cookies
  
• Cinnamon Pop-tarts
  
• Frozen broccoli, corn, and french fries
  
• Various types of canned soups
  
• Frozen TV dinners
  
• Diet coke and light beer (left by Amy)
  
• Jasmine rice
  
• Orange Juice
  
• Peaches & Bananas
  
• Chicken Corn Chowder
  
• Nutter Butter Cookies
  
• Potatoes - for Baking (and the vice-president)
  
  Other items may come and go, but this is the base.
  

My God do I wander. This is supposed to be a story starting in 1993. So lets get on with it. My mom has a Giga-pet Micropup. It "lived" 18 days old. My Mom is 68 years old. I love what the world has come to. You can think of a thing,,,and it is.....I had often wondered how long it would take for those things I had conjured to be seen. 37 years. Good thing I put the marker back then, or I would have missed it. That means eight years to the next one. Great number.

My call on what is happening at work is that the "Tail of the dog syndrome" is causing the team to malfunction. Even though we all function as tails on the dog, one tail has to control the direction of the wag. What's up with Kelle? What happened to Nancie? When will I get to the point that I will be able to say that I have a WPM count.

Keep the faith and the peace. We are about to spring to life. Close your eyes at night and your mind can change the sound of the rain into the sound of the wind blowing through the tops of the trees in a forest on a warm sunny day. Try to feel the sun on your face.

Working to create my vision.My typing will soon catch up and I will be able to get it done.

June 6th, 1998- People have forgotten that they have the choice NOT to be equal. If we are to allow ourselves be happy, we have to feel SPECIAL. Since all this still happens IRL, we have to make room for the times when others around us are being treated "Specially" . Tolerance! Let's try to recognize the differences. Some people out there are the BAD and some are the GOOD. Find out which ones are the good ones and listen to their instructions. Things are happening at machine speed now so react quickly and with faith. Things also happen to the BAD, so give your local police a thank you.

Aug 20, 1998- Today I noticed that today I started remembering the date again. I also found out on ultrasound that there is a 1.5cm x 1.9cm mass pressing against one of the femoral veins in my groin. Catscan to be scheduled immediately. I also missed my first chance to help the Jamesan group. Left them hanging in what seemed to be a bad spot. Now if that doesn't qualify as a journal day, Nothing does.

-- I am unaccustomed to talking about myself. I will do my best to stay focused and give you a full disclosure.

From as soon as I can remember, I was a voracious reader. I skipped by the "Hardy Boys" and went straight for the speculative fiction. I was fascinated by the fact that many of the Science Fiction writers of that time were NASA Scientists, Engineers and Academic Consultants. My early understanding of engineering and ability to analyze was the result of the problems presented as part of these sagas. In my youth I broke many bones. I attribute this to a combination of a never fully diagnosed childhood bone disease and my desire to "test the envelope". Started or ended almost every adolescent school vacation in a cast. More reading time while healing.

I placed no limits on what I read. My possibilities had no boundaries. I learned to see the alternate routes to a solution. I chuckle a little when I think of having lived most of my life "outside the box" that so many are just recognizing. Our reality is only limited by our imagination. I have many interesting revelations, funny stories and fond memories of these times. Now my time to read is limited mostly to trade and technical magazines.

I traveled around the USA (with and without family) and held many jobs in my youth. I grew up as part of a military family, so no real surprise when I went in the US Army at 17. I received much of my formal training there. I used my knowledge of the "well oiled" military machine to move from school to school for most of the 3 years I was in. One exciting assignment during that time was Parachute Rigger. Part of the Quartermaster Corp, we supplied the Airborne. Anything with a parachute the dropped out of the sky (successfully) was our doing.

Following the Army, I worked construction primarily. Commercial, Custom Residential and Facilities Management (FMA). I was part of a design team with a Pasadena, CA Architectural firm selecting the Interiors of Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. The TV spots I see show that our efforts have held up well over the years. That ate up a quick 20 something years.

I changed career paths in 1983 and began developing software for the Real Estate Industry. I am sure that NONE of my programs of famous except with my clients. Now I can "field strip" a computer (probably blindfolded) and have an advanced understanding of Network Architecture, Operating Systems, Business Processes and Project Management. I really enjoy the process of change in our life and this business gives me the ability to contribute to that end.

I have no need to be average or normal. I surrender the need to fit into the expectations of others at the expense of my own evolution. At times, upon claiming my wholeness, I may look, sound, or "test" non-average. I joyfully celebrate my loss of normalcy, and claim my authenticity, sanity, and health.

May we try to find a way to live together. To understand that FAIR is what will save us. The part that seems hard for people to understand is "FAIR means that sometimes YOU don't get any". Our gluttony is strangling us, killing each of us with a much greater effectiveness than second hand smoke ever will. Tolerance, gives us the opportunity of forgiving a difference. To allow others to be different. To be unique and to still have our acceptance. The world is filled with differences...get used to it.

As we enter into the next wave, let us not forget that we created and control the technology we use. If we choose to say "It is built-in to the system, we can't change it". Or, if you often say something to the effect of "Not my job", then you are a failure. Step up to the line and be counted. If the crappy service at your company offends me, I am sure the crappy service at my company offends YOU!!! Lend a hand, change your own corner of the world. Smile. (-:

NASA "Spirit" lands on Mars. For once they didn't crash and burn, and they are OVERJOYED...me too! Spend some time with your children looking at the images they are sending back. Look to the heavens with a different eye. Mankind is moving outward. Don't forget to leave a light burning at home.

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